A Life Cut Short

Dallas Lee Bradford was an amazing young woman who had her whole life ahead of her when it was suddenly cut short. Since her death, everyone has been talking about her (not all of it good).
Sitting at the funeral today I was appalled at the fact that there were people who came in sweats and athletic shorts. I sat there thinking my mom taught me better than that, didn't their parents do the same? I then remembered, it's not about how we dressed. It's not about the grudges we may have had at one point. It's not about who knew her best and who didn't. It's not about how she died, it's about how she lived. It's about the fact that the world lost an amazing daughter, neice, granddaughter and most of all, a friend. It's about the fact that we are all breaking and no matter what happened in the past, we are all there for each other now. It's about the fact that a life was cut far too short, and it's a lesson to be learned. It's a lesson about rethinking how we treat people. It's a lesson about love. It's a lesson about putting grudges aside. It's a lesson about learning to live life to it's fullest. In my heart you will always stay, loved and remembered every day. Rest in peace Dallas <3


***Written December 2011***

Past Two Days

Yesterday was my rest day. I did the February Ab Challenge and that was it. Today was an okay workout, 40min bike 20min arms and February Ab Challenge. Soooooo sore, but it hurts so good! I have nothing witty or clever to post today about working out, maybe tomorrow :)

Zumba

zumba Zumba ZUMBA!!!

 I absolutely love Zumba. It is just a fantastic way to workout and have a little fun by shaking your booty! (Lord knows I love to shake my booty!) Sometimes you feel like you can't get it and look stupid doing it, but who cares?!!! You quickly forget how dumb you look because you are having so much fun! Now all I have left to do is the February Ab Challenge for the day and then I'm done with working out for the night. I got this!

...Sooooo very true!

Choices

For those who know me, truly know me, you know that I believe that there is always a choice. You don't have to go to class you choose to go to class. Many argue with me about this example, but we do make the choice to go to class. We choose to better ourselves through education. We choose to get a degree even though it costs us thousands of dollars. We choose to get up early to get to class. We choose to go because we choose to earn good grades. Life is full of choices...from the cereal we eat for breakfast to the clothes we wear to school to the attitude we face the day with...it's all a choice.

With that being said, I made the choice today to exercise. I choose to make myself healthy, not skinny, but healthy. I choose to hit the gym multiple times a week in order to better myself. I choose to make myself happy by throwing my heart and soul into my working out religiously. Today is official. I have chosen the path to wellness. I have chosen the path to happiness. I have chosen the path to a better life. The path I chose will not be an easy one, but it will be worth it!

40 min bike, 20 min stretching, 20 min arms, and February Ab Challenge (10 sit-ups, 4 push-ups, 10s plank)
184.5lbs

No more excuses!

And so begins my journey to a healthier, happier, stronger me. I don't hate my body, but I need my body to take me places. I am accepting of my body. I know I will never be a supermodel. I will never be super skinny or super toned, but that's not what I want. I want to be healthy, happy, and strong. I not only need this for my job in the future (police officer/military), but I need this for me, for life.

Working out has never been a problem for me. I actually really enjoy working out, it's just trying to curb the excuses for not having time to do it, and all the other excuses I have used in the past. My biggest excuse now is my knee, but I cannot and I will not allow my knee to hold me back anymore. I'm addicted to working out. I start with a few times a week which then quickly leads to multiple times a day because I love the feeling it gives me, but then it stops. Why? Because life gets busy and I try to convince myself that I don't have time between school, work, volunteering, family, friends, and everything else. We like to call that an excuse. I'm full of excuses I know, but the excuses stop now. I don't care if I lose weight, I just want to be able to run and be fit again. I miss having the dancer legs or the softball arms. One day....

I currently weigh the most I have in my entire life (190 eeeek!!!) but that's about to change. Watch out world, here I come!

Overwhelming list...

"No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life."

"No one is entitled to anything. We must appreciate every opportunity we get in life. Being humble and thankful goes a long way. "

     I believe that we should be thankful every day, not just on days where we cook a huge turkey and stuff our faces with our family and friends. Last year at this time I was thankful to get one more day with my daddy and praying that nothing would happen to him while he was out patrolling the streets. Last year at this time I was thankful for all my friends and family who stood beside me throughout the hard time of Sam's death and helped me see the little joys in life that were still there. This year I am thankful for all that and so much more. I am thankful for all the people who stood there and helped me make it through all the ups and downs of this past year and never gave up, even when that's all that I wanted to do. This year I am thankful....

My sister and I.

• Family



Padre



My mom and I.

• For always being there for me, dealing with my pain in the butt self, allowing me to grow, share, give and receive love.
• Friends
• For being true friends who stand by me, know my quirks and weird ways, but have decided to love me regardless. 
• Deputy Samuel Kent Brownlee
• For teaching me many lessons, some which I have yet to discover. For laying down your life for me, my family, and the community. For being a downright beautiful human being.
• Heather Brownlee



Heather Brownlee (Deputy Brownlee's wife) and I
 at the first annual Sam Brownlee Memorial  Ride.

• For helping me through the death of Sam. For being there for me and supporting both of us as we try to move on.
• Pain
• For helping me become a stronger person.
• Tears
• For helping me express my deepest emotions.
• Disappointment
• For helping me realize what truly matters.
• Love
• For letting me feel what it means to truly be alive.
• Hugs
• For always making me feel safe and secure, and for telling me that I am not alone.
• Lazy Sundays
• For reminding me to take it easy and to take a break from life.
• Lovers
• Lovers of life, lovers of goodness, lovers of art, lovers of growing, lovers of helping people see the beauty of themselves.
• Being a nice person
• For always knowing in my heart tat I am a kind person. Even though I'm not perfect, I would never intentionally hurt someone.
• Being able to smile
• For always knowing that I can make someone's day better with one smile, even if I can't make my own better. 
• Country music
• For always being a feel-good music.
• Kindness of strangers
• For always knowing that a stranger could make your day a little bit better with a smile or by an act of kindness. For example: I just got a card yesterday from the Mormon church which I haven't attended in YEARS...The card was a thinking about you and told me that they were thinking about me as the anniversary of Deputy Brownlee's death is fast approaching and that they hoped I could find comfort and support this week in loved ones. Kindness of strangers.
• Today
• For coming and surprising me every day with the ups and downs of life.
• Being me
• For always being the one thing that I am pro at.

• A warm bed.
• Whale watching boat rides in Cape Cod

• Drawing on the foggy mirror after a shower with your finger.
• Playing putt-putt with my Grandma

• Sitting in the evening sun talking to someone who is important to me.
• Having a meal cooked for you AND the dishes done.
• Trips to Estes Park

• A fresh box of crayons.
• Old school Nickelodeon and Disney shows.
• Napping on boats

Me sleeping on the boat taking me to Martha's Vineyard. 

• A fresh pad of Post-It Notes.
• The smell of a brand new book. 
• Hot Navy guys while on vacation

• Taking goofy pictures with siblings.

• Rainy days that were made for watching movies.
• Dancing with your daddy.

• My favorite pens.
• Early kisses despite my morning breath. 
• My cowboy boots

• Cuddling.
• Sinclair Dinosaurs

• Time with the one person who can make you smile no matter what.
• Dance

15 years of dancing?!?!

It is not how they died that makes them a hero, it is how they lived.

 
  The year has come and gone too fast. We have faced all of the milestones; first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first New Years, watching Ty graduate from boot camp, Valentine's Day, Easter, birthdays, Halloween, wedding anniversary, Ty getting engaged and married, etc. One week without you...two weeks without you...one month without you...two months without you...three months without you...four months without you...five months without you...six months without you...seven months without you...eight months without you...nine months without you...ten months without you...eleven months without you...twelve months without you...how we made it this far, I have no idea. It seems like it happened yesterday. We like to think that is because you are still with us, in our hearts. Twelve months ago today I received a text that said, "One of our deputies got shot, didn't want you to hear about it and think it was me..." Twelve months ago today, within seconds, our lives were forever changed. Twelve months ago today we lost our friend, Deputy Samuel Kent Brownlee.

     The one year anniversary of your death snuck up on us. One year ago today marks the day when our worlds stopped and were forever changed. One year ago today marks a day that caused me great sorrow, heartache, and made me feel like I was cheated, the world was cheated. One year ago today I realized how strong I was, and also how weak I was. One year ago today marks a day that I will vividly remember forever. A true warrior, hero, and downright beautiful human being paid the ultimate sacrifice. It is so hard to believe that it has been a year, it seems so short. So much has changed since that warm November morning when you laid down your life Deputy Brownlee.

     Honor. Their actions are honorable. Their life is honorable. Their duty is honorable. Today we remembered an honorable man who fell in the line of duty. We remembered a loving husband, father, brother, uncle, deputy, and friend. We remember his deep-bellied laugh and how he was always willing to help. We remember his love for his wife, kids, family, friends, and of course, his Harley.

     Deputy Brownlee continues to be with us every day, every step of the way. It seems like it was just yesterday; it feels like that because Sam is still in our hearts. We all know that he is up there watching over us and making sure that we are all safe. We miss him dearly. We miss his deep-bellied laugh, his smile. We miss listening to him talk about his beautiful wife and where they went riding on the Harley on his days off. We miss his dry sense of humor. We miss anything and everything about him.

     I will never forget that day, the pain, or you - my hero. We still feel pain - we will always feel pain, but it's a different kind of pain. A hero remembered never dies. We love and miss you terribly Sam. W679.

"Dispatch calling 679....recalling Weld 679....no response from 679. You gave it your all, Sam. God bless. We miss you, brother."

Deputy Samuel Kent Brownlee
Weld County Sheriffs Office, 5 years
End of Watch: November 23, 2010
Cause: Gunfire